Awakening to Your Essential Self: The Golden Wisdom of Life’s Third Act
Girish Jha, Coach and Guide, Eastern Wisdom . Blog for Baby Boomers
“Awakening” suggests a positive transformation and discovery. “Essential Self” speaks to finding one’s core identity beyond roles. “Golden Wisdom” creates a positive association with this life stage.
Finding Peace Beyond the Storm of Activity
I remember watching my friend Richard at his retirement party. After 42 years at the same company, he stood before colleagues and family, accepting the gold watch, the handshakes, the well-wishes. His smile never quite reached his eyes. Later, as we shared a quiet moment, he confessed, “I don’t know who I am without my work. Who am I supposed to be now?”
This question — “Who am I, really?” — isn’t just for the young or for those facing retirement. It’s perhaps the most profound question for those of us entering what many call life’s “third act.” After decades of building careers, raising families, and accumulating experiences, many of us Baby Boomers find ourselves seeking something deeper, something more enduring than our accomplishments or roles.
The Wisdom of Consciousness and the Three Gunas
Eastern wisdom says what we think we are not, comes from the conditioned mind, and what we really are is beyond the mind, a real self of the nature of permanent happiness, love, truth, and wisdom.
According to ancient Eastern teachings, our true nature is pure consciousness itself, not our thoughts, emotions, roles, or even our physical bodies. This consciousness is described as having the nature of “peace, happiness, love, truth, and wisdom.” It is our fundamental reality, always present but often overlooked as we chase after external achievements and pleasures.
Why don’t we experience this peaceful, happy consciousness all the time? The wisdom traditions explain this through a concept called the “three gunas” — the fundamental qualities that create our everyday experiences causes delusion
- Sattva (knowledge, clarity, harmony)
- Rajas (activity, passion, change)
- Tamas (inertia, resistance, stability)
Throughout our lives, most of us have been dominated by the quality of Rajas — constant activity, doing, and achieving. Our culture celebrates the “doer,” the achiever, the person of action. We’ve built our identities around what we do rather than who we are at our core.
Breaking Free from a Lifetime of "Doing"
After sixty-plus years of identifying with our roles — executive, parent, spouse, community leader — it can feel terrifying to let go. As one wisdom teacher puts it, “I don’t identify with any activity of the body, my intellect… You are totally free. You have a sense of freedom.”
This doesn’t mean abandoning activity altogether. Rather, it means recognizing that behind all our doing is a knower, an awareness that remains constant and peaceful regardless of what’s happening in our external lives.
Think about it: throughout your life, who has been watching all your experiences? The same consciousness that watched you take your first steps in your career has watched you retire. The same awareness that witnessed your wedding day has witnessed your empty nest. This unchanging knower is what Eastern wisdom points to as your true self.
Practical Steps to Discover Your True Nature
How can we begin to experience this true self, especially after decades of identifying with our various roles? Here are some practical approaches:
- Practice Observation Without Judgment: Take a few minutes each day to simply observe your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without identifying with them. Notice how they arise and pass away while something in you remains constant.
- Ask “Who Am I Not?”: Make a list of all the roles and identities you’ve held (professional, relational, etc.). Then contemplate: If all these were taken away, what would remain?
- Find Moments of “Being” Between “Doing”: Instead of filling every moment with activity (the Rajas quality), intentionally create spaces of stillness and receptivity. This doesn’t have to be formal meditation — it could be sitting quietly in your garden or watching a sunset without the need to photograph or share it.
- Notice What Doesn’t Change: While our bodies, minds, and circumstances are constantly changing, something in us observes these changes without itself changing. In quiet moments, try to sense this unchanging awareness.
A New Story for Your Third Act
Consider my friend Martha, who spent 35 years as a school administrator. When she retired at 67, she initially filled her days with volunteer work, grandchildren, and travel — all wonderful activities, but still caught in the “doing” mode that had defined her professional life.
One day, during a quiet moment watching waves at the beach, something shifted. “I suddenly realized I didn’t need to be doing anything to feel complete,” she told me. “There was this awareness, this presence that had been with me my entire life, watching the whole show. It felt like coming home to myself.”
Martha still volunteers and enjoys her grandchildren, but she no longer derives her sense of self from these activities. There’s a new lightness to her, freedom that comes from recognizing her true nature beyond her roles and activities.
A Question for Reflection
What would change in your life if you recognized that your essential nature is already complete, already at peace? How might you approach your days differently if you knew that the “real you” aren’t defined by what you do, but by the awareness that watches it all?
The Gift of Your Third Act
Perhaps the greatest gift of our third act is the opportunity to finally discover what has been true all along — that beneath the identities we’ve built, the roles we’ve played, and the achievements we’ve accumulated lies a boundless awareness that is our true home.
As one spiritual master puts it: “When I abide in that consciousness, I have found it. It’s not a big deal,” but demands a commitment to find and realize our real nature.
In the end, Richard found his way to this understanding too. “I spent 42 years building something outside myself,” he told me recently. “Now I’m discovering what’s always been within.”
What about you? Are you ready to discover what’s always been here?
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